feistie: megvsshark: trishhyy: when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she’s either really interested or you’re level 99 friend-zoned Or she hasn’t spotted you in the tree yet. ITGOTBETTER
operameister: thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble: agentgreenfishy: poselikeateam: fuck-i-just: Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.” Why does this not have any notes? lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?” “Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball...
pumpernicklefagbag: ragehappystolemysleep: harrystylesnickgrimshaw: when I’m a parent, I’m going to give my child the day of the full moon off from school every month and see how long it takes the administration to notice reason 325 why tumblr users should never be parents reason 325 why tumblr users should definitely be parents
So I tried to make polite conversation with our...
Me: Hey, that's a Harry Potter shirt, right? You like Harry Potter?
Little girl: *hides behind her mom*
Mom: Go ahead, you can tell her.
Little girl: Yeeaaaaaah...
Me: That's cool! Who's your favorite character? Hermione?
Little girl: *shakes head*
Me: Ron? Harry?
Little girl: I LIKE LORD VOLDEMORT.
Little Girl: HE REPRESENTS CHAOS.
Me: That's...fun too.